If The Internet Were A Giant Sewer

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My web hosting company, DreamHost, has a way with words (though not with spell-checking). The following is an excerpt from their answer to the question, “What is bandwidth?”

If the Internet were a giant sewer, it would be composed of giant pipes and smaller pipes, forming a giant grid underneath the city. Those whose computers are connected with modems would be water faucets and kitchen sinks. Those with cable modems or ADSL would be about the same as a swimming pool. DreamHost (that’d be us!) is pretty much the equivelent [sic] of a nice large resevoir [sic] holding thousands of gallons of water, ready to be shipped to the sinks and pools of the city.
From the resevoir [sic] flows great amounts of water to the citizens of this great city of web pages and streaming audio. How does it get around? Pipes. Big pipes, small pipes. Lots of pipes.

They never do get around to explaining when and where a bunch of shit is added to the water.

Teaching The Kids About War

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While flipping through the channels last Saturday night trying to pick up news on the war, I came across a show that was teaching kids about the conflict. It looks like the show (or segment) is called Kodomo Nyusu (Kid’s News). They were using toy props and cartoons to show a trio of very glum-looking kids what was happening in Iraq. It was too bizzare to pass up, so I grabbed my camera and started snapping photos.
Here’s my report…

Fox News Alert: Invading Ants

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Mr. Odana at Trash Addict has keenly noticed that the future (the wrong one) has arrived.

My favourite scary news station is Fox News. It could have been invented by Ray Bradbury or George Orwell. The newscasters look like Real Dolls and there’s an air of mad dystopic future society-gone-wrong about it. The reporting is somewhat right-wing and fuzzy, and I keep expecting to hear reports about invading ants from Mars (Starship Troopers), or hearing that the president’s nose has been kidnapped (Sleeper).

Sunset Near Myoko

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Had a great trip last weekend. I’ll be posting some words and pictures about my travels in the next couple days. In the meantime, here’s a photo I took from the train on my way back to Nagano on Monday. The sun is setting over the mountains between Arai and Myoko-Kogen, about an hour north of Nagano. This was taken while riding the Shinetsu Line (local), the last leg of my 12 hours on local trains. More soon.

The War Begins

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I’d just gotten home from the gym about ten minutes ago when Ria called to say her boyfriend had called her from Florida to tell her President Bush was on television announcing the beginning of the war. I turned on the television and had just enough time to snap this poor picture of Bush before his short speech ended. I had NPR on simulateously via the internet so I could hear Bush, since the Japanese translation made it difficult to hear him on television.
Right now, all I can see are pictures of early morning in Iraq, with flashes of light that look like the beginning of a fireworks show.
KCRW has just broken away from NPR to go to a live CNN report from Iraq.
I have to be at work in 30 minutes, so I won’t be able to follow the live coverage.

Moore’s Messy Message

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Muckraker and Bowling For Columbine director Michael Moore has written a letter to President Bush that sounds like it was written by an angry adolescent girl who’s just been dumped by a boyfriend she never had and who can’t contain her rage.
Really, one would hope Moore could do better than this sorry tirade.

Pay No Attention…

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These days, Americans of shallow mind and feeble perspective are having a grand old time bashing the French as if they detest and distrust America any more than the rest of the world. Fat chance.
As usual, Americans look for enemies where our leaders tell us to look for them. The Wizard says, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
Here’s a hint for those who are happily gorging on “freedom” fries: Look behind the curtain.

Is You Or Is You Ain’t My Baby?

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Nothing like a good war to unhinge delicately balanced geo-political relationships. Let’s look at Turkey for a moment.
First, the Turkish government (apparently reacting to the wishes of their own citizens — damn that democracy!), refused entry to the American war machine. Even a generous investment package (cough, cough — multi-billion dollar bribe) wasn’t enough to sway the Turks.
In the aftermath of that giant “NO!,” the U.S. and Turkey were talking trash towards each other like cross-town cheerleading squads. At one point, following a speech by Secretary of State Colin Powell, a Turkish official commented that his country didn’t appreciate being threatened by America.
The Bush administration continues to put the screws on Turkey, hoping for a follow-up vote just in case some Turkish legislators mistakenly hit the wrong button during the first vote.
Meanwhile, the “market” is further punishing Turkey for it’s intransigence. You can’t say no to America these days without some financial repercussions (Russia and France will not be found in the oil fields of post-war Iraq).
As the U.S. tries to figure out exactly what it will take to convince Turkey to allow U.S. forces on its soil, the Kurds in Northern Iraq are looking around nervously, wondering if they will get screwed once again.
In our brave, new world, America will increasingly maintain alliances based on financial rather than legal, democratic or humanitarian values.

What I’m Thinking About Now

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I’m not feeling very comfortable posting anything but war-related stuff here at the moment. Whenever a potential post of a more inane, light-hearted or frivolous nature pops into my head, I get a slightly queasy feeling. My daily life seems a bit more mundane, not so important. Finding silly things on the web to link to for a laugh seems downright inappropriate.
Speaking of inappropriate, that’s what the Academy Awards ceremony will be this Sunday if a war has just begun. But the show must go on because there’s money to be made. The producers have a Plan B, which likely means that celebrities will have to turn those smiles upside-down and put on their “serious” faces. There will be a last-minute rush to exchange designer gowns for ones of more somber tone. Joan Rivers will not have comprehended the “tone it down” memo, and will be out on the red carpet, fully-medicated, asking, “Who did your Nair, darling?!” Can you imagine anything more pathetic and tedious and than a night full of movie stars trying to look telegenically sad? I can’t. If Hollywood wants to send a message about what’s important and what’s not at this moment, shut the show down.
Okay, that was a rant that went a little off topic. Getting back to my own content…
I’m not sure how long this feeling will last. Likely, it will slowly pass, but who knows. I have a four-day weekend coming up in a few days and I’ll be wanting to post some thoughts and pictures from the trip I’m taking to Northern Honshu. Also, I don’t want this to become an all-war, all-the-time blog. But for the moment, it just feels right to focus on the coming conflict.