Be Very, Very Afraid

I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry about how pathetically easy it is to mock the U.S. government’s new ready.gov web site.
The site, created by the Department of Homeland Security, offers tips to help Americans prepare for the terrorist attacks that are expected ANY DAY NOW!
Apparently, (and, to paraphrase Johnny Carson: I did not know this) you should move away from a nuclear blast.

In an effort to be a good citizen, I added some additional text to the original (see orange text above) that should clear up any misunderstandings.
Ready.gov also helpfully informs us that there is less radiation the further you move away from the epicenter of a “dirty bomb” blast. Please, for the love of god, stay as far away from these bomb targets as possible (The only target currently listed on the web site is Austin, TX, but I’m sure that’s just a temporary oversight and more target information will soon be added.). Also, you should minimize time spent frolicking in radiation.