This is how a conversation between the C.E.O. of CBS, the president of NBC Entertainment and the chairman of HBO—imagining a perfect TV schedule—begins:
Jeff Zucker: You’re really tan.
Leslie Moonves: You know what? I haven’t gone away. I have a place in Malibu, and I tan very fast. So–.
Zucker: He’s really tan.
Moonves: Thank you. It’s that Bob Evans look.
The conversation is ultimately tragic, but has its hilarious moments. Some additional highlights:
Zucker: I might have a lot of crazy, wacky ideas, but the best ideas actually walk in the door.
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Chris Albrecht: I don’t do anything on a show. I don’t write a show. I don’t direct a show. I don’t produce a show. I don’t act in a show. I don’t edit a show. So my idea of a show is almost sort of useless. I don’t do anything.
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Zucker: You know, you never say that HBO’s most successful show is “G-String Divas.”
Albrecht: “G-String Divas” is not our most successful show.
Zucker: Oh, come on.
Albrecht: It actually didn’t get nearly the ratings I thought it would. “Real Sex” gets great ratings.
Moonves: Well, “Real Sex” is a good show.